With Paul Pierce’s recent Las Vegas handcuffing, as well as a Patriots off-season that saw two guys get busted for pot and another found with enough Oxycontin’s to sedate ANYONE, we decided to look back on five of our favorite funny, embarrassing and sometimes both off-field incidents in recent Boston history.
**1991: Celtics center Robert Parish is arrested when the cops intercept two ounces off pot that had been Fed Exed to his house.
Can’t you picture The Chief sitting around with his buddies on the couch, ripping bong hits and just rewinding the video of him punching out Laimbeer over and over?
"Dude! Let’s watch it in slo-mo this time!"
The best part of this arrest is that Parish was freed after paying only a $37 fine.
**Nov. ‘97: While onstage during an Everclear concert at the Paradise, Drew Bledsoe stage dives into the crowd, lands on a woman and eventually pays her a reported 400K in the settlement—she’s since hired Mo Lewis as a personal bodyguard.
In a perfect world, I’d like to think Drew made this fateful leap to escape Everclear’s sweet SoCal sounds, but it appears he’s actually one of their biggest fans. Perhaps the funniest/most disturbing part of the story is that the incident happened only days before the Pats were heading to Tampa for one of the most crucial games of the year. The Pats ended up getting destroyed, but Bledsoe made it clear to everyone that the incident would not effect his play—he completed 13 of his 27 passes for 117 yards and threw two beautiful interceptions to compliment his zero TD passes.
**October ‘06: The Celtics Sebastian Telfair has a $50K chain taken from him outside Diddy’s restaurant, Justin’s.
A rumor then circulates that Telfair was seen making a phone call roughly an hour before rapper Fabolous was shot outside of the same club. Telfair voluntarily surrendered his cell phone records to police, and is not under investigation for any involvement, despite rumors to the contrary.
Anytime a crappy point guard is potentially involved with the shooting of a rapper outside of a restaurant owned by Diddy, the world takes notice. But as ridiculous as this story was, the fact that Telfair was involved made it completely reasonable. Nothing that happens with him surprises me.
But then again, maybe we’re too hard on the kid. I mean who among us hasn’t accidentally taken our girlfriend’s gun-filled pillow case with us on plane? Can any of us honestly say that we’ve never been driving 30 mph over the speed limit in our new Range Rover (with an expired Florida license even though we’ve never lived in Florida) and forgotten that there was a loaded handgun hidden under the passenger seat?
Some say Bassy has problems. I say judge not lest ye be judged.
**March ‘08: Boston Red Sox scout Jesse Levis is arrested after allegedly masturbating from the balcony of his Port St. Lucie, Fla. hotel room. The balcony overlooked the hotel’s pool where young girls were swimming.
Here’s the actual transcript of a conversation between Levis and Port St. Lucia’s lead detective after Levis was busted in the room:
Detective: Jesse, what were you doing?
Levis: Going over some prospect evaluations.
Where are they? Geez, i don’t see them.
They’re in my briefcase.
How could you be reading documents when they’re in your briefcase? … That’s a mystery. Jesse, were you watching "Spank-tro-Vision"?
Ok then, let’s hit it!
Hey, there are some dangerously young girls down there.
Good for them!
Geez, i wonder if any of their dads play for the Yankees?
**April ‘08: Now former New England Revolution players Gary Flood and Joey Franchino are tossed out of Fenway Park for wearing Yankees jerseys. (Oh yeah, and they also got absolutely gonzo’d, were wildly obnoxious to other fans and took a piss on the floor in the Home Plate Pavilion.
The big question here is this: Do we think these two tried to play the Revolution card with the cops?
If another random athlete like say, Manny Delcarmen or Wesley Britt ever got busted for something like this, I feel like at some point the conversation would turn to, "Listen guys, I play for the Sox (or Pats). I messed up big time and promise it won’t happen again. How bout just letting it slide and allowing me to go help bring another title to Boston." And it might even work. But probably not in this case.
Do professional soccer players in the US have the same "I can do whatever I want because I’m a professional athlete" mentality that football, baseball and basketball players have?
I’m betting some of them do, although in reality, I think "Excuse me, do you know who I am? I’m the guy who writes a barely read column about five random things in the Boston sports world" would work better than "I play for the Revolution."
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